NOT BROKEN BUT BREAKING THROUGH….

There will always be days like these. Always. Days when you’re tired, tired of everything and everyone around you. Days you just feel like switching off, crawling underneath your skin and forgetting about this whole catastrophic cantankerous world. 

Sadly this feeling isn’t happening to me alone. I know a lot of people out there have this moments. Today is too much. Yesterday was more than enough. Tomorrow you just don’t want to know. You feel completely broken. Everything seems to be against you. All of nature’s elements lean in to watch while you struggle to breathe as the excruciating emotions clouds you and you begin to feel like you’re suffocating. At that moment it feels easier to give up and stay under the covers, rather than stepping over the weighted moments that torments you. But trust me, it isn’t easier, the longer you stay this way the harder it gets to blow the dense clouds that have gathered around you out of harms way. Although you may have received a few cracks and setbacks, you are definitely not broken. The world would be dark at times, but there is far more light if you are willing to open your eyes and let it in.

You might have involved yourself with someone who twisted your love or foolishly mistook your vulnerability for weakness, you might have made wrong choices that left you completely ashamed of yourself. You feel completely useless and broken. STOP IT!. You are more than that loss, that rejection, or the aggression and resentment that someone showed. You are human and you are prone to mistakes. You are more than your grief or your insecurities or your fear of being abandoned again. You are more than every outrageous experience that has ever happened to you; you are limitless and you haven’t even tapped in to your full potential. So do not let whatever has happened so far define you, as every new encounter is an experience and a lesson. Instead, let it push you to be a better person. You will always rise up wiser and stronger no matter how weakened you feel at that period. Parts of your life’s journey may be irreparable, but you are resilient and although you may sway and bend, you will never break. Even when people do things that hurt every fiber of your being, and you bruise and ache due to the excruciating pain from the cruelty that freeze you to the bone, as soon as your passion for life rages inside, you will quickly thaw out.

Existing on this planet can be harsh at times but the burning flame inside you to be someone great will give you the zeal to push on. Your fire is strong, It has been glowing for years so it’s not going to quit on you now. You have to keep moving however rough the road gets. Shake up and awaken yourself. Put up the fight of your life and search for missing pieces. You won’t need to look far as you are not lost, just wondering a little off track. Be aware that there is someone specifically out there who needs you more than you know. More importantly you need you. You may not realize this right now, but I promise you, you are an important vessel to the earth, if not you won’t still be on it.

Over a couple of days, I’ve been feeling completely down cast, I’ve been feeling like the weight on me was just too much. I just wanted to be left alone, be in my own space away from all the chaos.  I felt like something was clogging my chest, something was holding me so tight breathing was so difficult.  One day, in that dark room, all alone I poured out my heart to God. I let it all out. With Steve Crown’s “we wait on you” playing. I believed ever word. Who said songs don’t speak wonders. I found myself crying so uncontrollable but I didn’t mind, after all I was talking to the only person who totally understood. 

After that prayer, some kind of relief overshadowed my body. That suffocating feeling wasn’t there so much anymore. I felt deep down everything would be okay. Everything will fall into place.  At that moment I was 100% sure I was not broken. But only breaking through……


Xoxo

Tracy D.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “NOT BROKEN BUT BREAKING THROUGH….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s