Someone once told me “Tracy, if you don’t want to be moving around all glummy you need to learn to lower your expections about people. You need to realise not everyone will treat you as nice or go that extra mile for you the way you will for them.”
Hearing those words was like a switch had gone off in my head. I won’t say I wasn’t aware of this before, I mean as a kid I remember always crying to my mum anytime I was let down by this one person I so much believed in. I remember her always trying to make me look at the brighter side of things, next minute I was back into that high expectation mood doing everything just to get noticed and appreciated. But for some funny reason, this conversation just opened my eyes way more than I would have ever imagined. I guess being older could have been one of the reasons or the fact I was just super tired of the disappointments from friends and family. So there and then, I decided to expect less from people. If I couldn’t handle their behaviour towards me, I’ll just focus on people that shared my views or at least close to what I understood friendship and family bond to mean.
If you do not have expectations, you can never be disappointed. Often we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. But unfortunately, this does not always happen.
You need to make sure you enter into relationships with someone who has as big of a heart as you do. You need to learn to be open to what ever family tries to throw at you. If you do not, you may feel as if you are being taken advantage of or are being shortchanged and unappreciated. You need to surround yourself with people who appreciate what you do for them and who will reciprocate these actions.
One of the biggest challenges we face in life is learning to accept people for who they truly are. Once you realize that your expectations cannot change people, the better off you will be. We’re happier to accept other people’s difficult behaviors when we expect less from them. Stop expecting other people to act exactly as you would like them to—it’s a game you’re guaranteed to lose. Instead, try being open to any and all reactions from others.
The moment you reduce your expectations and have an open mind to everything, that moment you start to feel some level of comfort and begin to accept everything and everyone’s behaviour without feeling completely cheated and used. Never think because they are family they ought to treat you better or because you both have come a long way or have known the longest of time. Sometimes friends are worth every stress than family, same way the newest of friends turn out to be the truest of them all.