So I’m sitting here wondering what point exactly my life turned upside down. One moment I’m in total control of my life, having a good time and just enjoying life in general and the next moment I’m 6 weeks pregnant for a guy that’s barely talking to me. How did it happen? When did it happen? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? All I wanted was to be happy. All I wanted was to love and be loved. I was finally happy. My mind was at peace and I thought I had met the one. We had the most amazing times together. He seemed  like the perfect guy. Thoughtful, gentle, well mannered, God fearing ( I mean the man knows the Bible well), romantic, etc! The list goes on and on! He checked the right boxes! I was happy.
I came out of an immature relationship about 8 months before so meeting him made me feel like a real woman! Before him, I told people I wasn’t ready to date. I barely even met guys during that time and the few I met were the most immature, disrespectful men I had ever met! ( Simply put, fuck boys!!!) So you wouldn’t blame me for falling in love with this man. Don’t get me wrong he wasn’t perfect! We had our “chicken fights” practically all the time. But the way we settled them was so mature and loving! (I’m sorry! I know I’ve used the word mature quite a lot! But can you blame me? If you dated half the men I have dated, you probably would use the word twice as more than I have! LOL!). I was totally enjoying this new thing God had brought to me! I was already planning marriage. My mum had started getting anxious for her daughter to settle down. And finally I was excited for her to meet this man that put the widest smile on my face! How, when and why it changed I really do not know. I’m still in shock! It happened so fast! As if I didn’t have enough to think about, I realized I was six weeks pregnant!! Should I blame myself for this? Or would anyone else have made the same mistake I made if they were in my shoes?! I’m angry with myself! How did this happen? How did it end up this way? How did my love story become my nightmare? Why did my Prince Charming change? Was it something I did? Everything seemed so normal. There was no sign whatsoever that something was wrong. So what happened? Is there someone else? I’m losing my mind here with all these questions! I have more questions than answers!! What do I do? Do I keep the baby?

I love children. I can’t wait to have mine. But I would rather have them the right way! My parents will be so disappointed!.. Shit! I would have felt way better if he wasn’t acting strange. If I had him to console me! I told him I was pregnant last night and he asked, “So what are we going to do about it?” (More questions! *rolls eyes*) I told him I wasn’t sure. That my mind seemed to be leaning towards keeping it. Then he goes, he had no problem having a child but I had mentioned earlier I wasn’t going to have a baby before marriage cos of my family and all. “Well that was before I had a seed growing inside me,” I answered. Throughout the conversation he made sure to remind me that I wasn’t ready for this. Just what I need, more confusion! Trying to make me change my mind! So he doesn’t look like the bad one.

Any time I start to think bout this whole mess, my heart starts to beat hard! My chest hurts! Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe. Where did it all go wrong? I ask again, how did we get to this stage?. Even with everything going on I still can’t change the impression I have about him. He is still that kind and gentle man I’ve always known. But u can’t help but wonder why the sudden change. Did I do something wrong? Was it me? How do I get my man back please? I don’t want anyone else! Or am I foolish to still want him? (You see how confused I am right now? A man just stopped talking and went completely cold without warning and I still want him) shit! I think I’m beginning to lose it. I need all the help I can get! When I pray I feel God isn’t hearing me. My sins must be preventing Him from hearing me! I pray all the time bout it. But I think I’m beginning to lose hope. Have you ever felt that way before? How did you come out of it? HELP ME PLEASE



P.s: article wasn’t written by me.



I’ve known her for a while now, a humble and down to earth lady who I’ve always admired. So when my last post came up, she reached out about how almost wonderful my post was but I had forgotten the one most important thing “God”. I couldn’t but agree more. So I told her to please write a post for us. Her response was about what? And I said “tell us how you’ve managed to put it all together so far, how God has helped you through it all. Coming from a pampered background and straight into marriage. Help us learn from you” my blog is about “being heard”, I want the world to be able to hear what we all have to say cause we all have something deep down we want to share. So  when she agreed to write this piece and asked to be anonymous and of cause for a good and educative story, stay as anonymous as you want and God bless you for sharing. Hope you all learn from what she has written so far cause I sure did. Enjoy



It’s all a summary, I don’t want to bore you with too much information, yes am a Christian and this is tailored in that direction.

This is baby milk, if I give you strong bone, una go talk say my own too much! More to learn in my lesson learnt below.

Coming from a wealthy background I would have thought mehn all would be rosy rosy! Little did I know!! 

In all things, I thank God, his Mercies endureth forever. His Grace and Goodness! Superb God.

After getting married, I had to move abroad with my husband, no job, just a husband to live in a room in a shared accommodation. My o my! It wasn’t easy. 

My dad I thought would care enough to want to know how we were doing didn’t even ask about all that information. In-fact, years into my marriage now, my dad has never given me 1kobo. One would think with how colorful my wedding was, and being a daddy’s girl, I’ll be getting all that daddy comfort after marriage.

Tension started building up not just money issue but teething marriage issues. I almost gave up, but I was definite I married the bone of my bone because my God gave me go ahead! My God is the only sure person for me. I ran back to him in prayers. 
What God can do, no man can do it. I have learnt to trust in him, his timing might not be my timing but his timing is best. So believing in God, I kept moving and hoping everything would fall into place. Little did I know I had taken in, wow! I didn’t want to have a baby yet, least not till I’m well settled with a job and better accommodation. 

My husband applied for a promotion at work, I applied for a job too. We both got it! God is so faithful, I resumed afterwards. The amazing fact was if I had resumed work any earlier, I won’t have been able to go to work as the first trimester of that pregnancy was me in and out of the hospital. 

God is good, all the time!!. I enjoy God! Time in his presence is awesome! Can’t be comparable to anything.

Few months later, we moved to a 4 bedroom apartment, big kitchen ehn! I love beautiful big kitchens! God surprised us on all grounds. 

Lessons I Learnt.. 

Marry the right person with directions from God. If you don’t hear from God personally, get spiritual fathers who you know and are sure have the backing of God to pray along with you.

Never marry for money, the wealthy one today might not be wealthy all through life. Some people are late starters in life, you never know. At the same time, it might be God’s plan for you to marry a wealthy person but whatever, let God lead you.

Marry a guy with prospects! Someone who speaks intelligently and not the one all about the worldly things.

Trust God only. Man can disappoint you! Be it your siblings, Father, Mother, etc 

Humble beginnings! I love it! Don’t try to be what you are not, don’t try to impress, don’t try to be big. There are stages in life! Go accordingly.

Protect your nuclear family, once married your parents, siblings become Extended family. Be patient, long-suffering another virtue to Armour yourself with! Slow to speak! Its not easy at all but God would make it easy. 

Lastly, I am still learning! 




Deep in thoughts thinking about life and how tough it can be. I seat and think of how it was growing up, never having to bother about anything cause mum and dad did that. All I had to do was get good grades and live life. Teenage age creeps in and I’m feeling all ready to take on the world. In my head I’ve analyzed everything. “The perfect picture” now all is left is for the maturity to set in fully. Passing through secondary feels like a never ending journey but thankfully its over after 6 long years. Then comes the university part were I now feel like I belong, but I’m still eager to get it over with and be classified that “big girl”.

If only I knew, I won’t have been in such a haste I say to myself most times when I’m alone deep in thought. Done with school life is definitely not as rossy as I imagined, everything feels like a struggle to get and sometimes feels like things falling “apart” instead of “in place”. I begin to wonder if I’m the only one feeling this way, conversations with people around me make me realise that actually people are going through a whole lot, they might look so put together and happy but deep down they’re fighting what seems like an unending battle of life.

Now everything seems to be falling into place, I’m finally beginning to understand. I finally see what everyone around me who has and still adding one way or the other to my life growth had to go through. There’s now a bigger feel of appreciation.

Life isn’t as simple as I thought after all, the only reason I felt so was because people made so much sacrifices just to see me happy. Life isn’t a bed of roses where what ever you want you get on a platter. You have to work hard to get things done and get that platter served to your taste. Life is complicated and full of challenges, but with determination and believe, you will pull through. And most importantly, life is very short. So enjoy it while you can by doing things that make you happy, cause happiness is the only way to pass through this journey called life.