I remember once someone said “love is never enough”. These words hit me like a shock wave running throwing my body. Why? I honestly couldn’t understand why love wasn’t enough to hold a relationship. I found love, but it wasn’t just feeling right, something was wrong, something didn’t feel right. Then I remembered those words “Love is never enough” Immediately, I set out to find out the why? I thought they said “Love was patient.” Love was kind”. After much research and getting into discussions with different people, I finally came to the best and most explanatory view about how love is never enough by Bill Ferguson and I just had to share with my readers.
Bill Ferguson said: What good is my love for you if I treat you lousy? It’s worthless. If I want our relationship to work, I need to make sure you feel loved. It’s the experience of love that makes the difference.
So, what creates the experience of love? The experience of love is created by giving the gift of acceptance and appreciation.
Notice how you feel when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn’t this feel good? Of course it does. You feel better about yourself and better about life. You also feel better about the other person. The same thing happens when you accept and appreciate someone else.
Now notice how you feel when someone is non-accepting and critical toward you or vice versa Instantly, the experience of love disappears. You get hurt and upset. You put up your walls of protection and automatically resist the person who is non-accepting toward you and resentment comes in.
Then you get hurt. Your walls of protection get stronger and you become even more judgmental and critical of the other person. Then the other person gets more upset and becomes more critical of you.
Without knowing, you create a cycle of conflict, a cycle of hurting, attacking and withdrawing from each other. This cycle then goes on and on without either person ever noticing his or her role in the problem. It’s this cycle of conflict that creates the suffering in relationships.
To end the cycle of conflict, or to make sure it never starts, you need to make sure the other person feels loved accepted and appreciated. This is the key to having any relationship work.
Unfortunately, this is much easier said than done. Some people are very difficult to accept. Fortunately, acceptance is nothing more than surrendering to the truth. The people in your life are exactly the way that they are, whether you like it or not.
When you can be at peace with the truth of how someone is, you can see what you need to do. You have peace of mind. You are creative and resourceful. You can find solutions and you can take the action you need to have your life be great.
When you fight the truth, you create a state of fear and upset. You close down inside and you get tunnel vision. All you can do is fight, resist, hang on or withdraw. This in turn destroys the experience of love, fuels the conflict and makes your situation worse.
If you want your relationship to work, let go of your demands and expectations for how the person should be, and make peace with the way the person is. Empower the person and do everything you can to make sure the person feels loved, accepted and appreciated.
Then watch what happens. As the person feels loved and empowered by you, that person becomes a lot more interested in making you happy. Automatically, that person becomes more accepting and appreciative of you. Then you feel loved and become more accepting and appreciative of the other person.
Instead of creating the cycle of conflict, you create the cycle of loving, supporting and empowering each other. Creating this cycle is the key to having your relationship be great.
So, to have your relationship be as great as it can be, make sure the other person feels loved, accepted and appreciated. Let go of your demands for how the person should be and see the beauty in the person, just the way he or she is.
After reading and trying to understand, I concluded for love to work properly, we need to accept and appreciate our partners the way they are, cause when we do so, we learn to see the good side of that persons behaviour rather than the bad. I would love to hear your own views and I pray God help us all build relationships that we all feel happy and contended with cause Happiness is major key🔑.