Story not written by me, writer would however love to remain anonymous. I often allow people share their own take on life, we all have our different experiences,I had to dill her to write this and make it as short and direct as possible. Hope you all enjoy reading.
“The way he stared at me and told me sweet nonsense, It would surely take a while to forget it. I felt completely important, like I meant the world to him, I felt like yes! this could actually be Mr. Right after all.
In my head, it was the perfect relationship, was this it? was this the person I’ve been searching to put that ring on my finger? I remember telling my friend how I had found “the one”. Her response ” My dear, just keep praying oh, see me I was in a relationship in January, February has not ended and I’m single again”. I didn’t care, as far as I was concerned that’s her own business my story cannot be like her own.
In other to make the relationship work, I started doing everything in my power to please him. I would go to the market, clean and cook my ass off,every time trying to surpass the last time. When he ate my food and praised it, OMG! The butterflies that flew in my tummy had no chill. When out rightly he was at fault, I would apologize just so all will be at peace. I would stand my friends up just because he might not like it, after investigation, I would find out while I was being the good girl, uncle was out having fun (God dey!!). I remember one time my friends and I had a pool party but because I wanted to spend time with “boyfriend”, I told them to go and have fun. 3pm to 8pm I kept calling but no response, My friends called and asked if I was sure I didn’t want to go, just so I won’t be caught off guard when he calls, I told them No. 9.00pm, 10.00pm, 11.00pm… I woke up the next morning still calling. He finally called by 12.00noon next day with excuses, how it happened, I can’t explain, but his excuse made a whole lot of sense to me, I even heard he was at the pool party but I told myself it was a lie, his own excuse was the right one so I forgave him.
Stories started flying about a so called girl he was actually in a relationship with ( meaning I was the side-chic?How na!) I rebuked the stories. How could that even be possible, I clean, cook and we even go to church together, (smh! as if that even makes any difference) why would he be side playing me. I caught off from the story carriers, I didn’t want any negative energy around me. When boyfriend felt I was getting too close, he deleted me off bbm with the excuse that he wanted to read for his exams and bbm was a distraction (exams was true but he was still VERY much active on bbm). Another step was telling us to block ourselves on Instagram since it was bringing alot of attention to our relationship (I had seen her pictures on his page and confronted him about it because I had heard things, He claimed she was his cousin) Mumu like me I accepted. When boyfriend finally knew I might have a clue, He offered to introduce his very good friend to her in front of me, I got convinced that truly she most be family then if not, why would he offer to hook her up. (mumu again!). Deep down I didn’t feel right about everything but because of how much this had to work, I would tell myself I was only being paranoid (Never doubt your instincts)
long story short, one thing led to another, we ended the so called “perfect relationship” and less than a year in, they got engaged, months later, they got married and relocated. I never heard from him again, I bottled up the anger and pain, I resulted to taking classes to help and after a little over a year, I knew It was time to let go and move on.
Did I feel stupid? Yes! but at the same time, I was happy, I had learnt a lesson. My thirst to get that ring had gotten the best out of me, I had seen the signs everywhere. I was doing most of the calling, I was doing most of the relationship work, but I didn’t care, I wanted something and I didn’t mind taking all the insult or getting hurt to get it. Shamefully I went back to the same friends I had rebuked for trying to spoil my fairy tale relationship, Of cause they welcomed me back with open arms (that’s what true friends do, support you no matter what!) They however made sure to remind me “They told me so” But at the same time, they gave me all their support and helped me through the heal up stage. Now we literally laugh whenever we talk about it, they tagged me “housewife” (can’t blame them though). Two years after that experience, I met someone, I got into the relationship with walls all around me, I was always defensive and had this “I don’t care attitude, When he couldn’t take it anymore, He involved my best friend. Trust her, she gave me the lecture I needed, she however made sure to tell me to “enjoy my relationship being myself, I need not try to impress because whatever attracted him to me most have been my natural attitude but if I build walls and keep him behind them, I would only be chasing him away. After pondering on this, I took the step to focus on this relationship. A year down the line, he popped the question, of cause I said yes, no trying to impress anyone, no displeasing myself to please anyone, no feeling like the only one making efforts, I got the ring. He has made it a duty to let me be my own person, when he is wrong, he apologizes, we fight(all relationship experience this) but we understand ourselves enough to sort it out……..”